Irene Goss-Werner has always loved working with people. This was why, in the mid-eighties, she went to graduate school at the University of Texas to become a clinical social worker. Over the past fifteen years, the Texas native has worked in a variety of professional settings; but she’s always been happiest doing clinical work in oncology with adult and pediatric patients and their family members. She smiles when as she thinks about these professional experiences. It’s obvious that they have been very rewarding to her professionally and spiritually.When her husband Robert accepted a position as a chaplain in the Boston area; Irene and their four year old daughter Hannah, moved with him from Amarillo, Texas to Boston. It took a while for the family to become acclimated to living in a different part of the country. Approximately three years after their move, Irene was ready to return to work. Because of her experience in oncology, she was familiar with a lot of facilities in Boston, including the Dana-Farber. She applied for a job. As it happened, one of the social workers was out on maternity leave and Irene was asked to fill in temporarily. A part time schedule soon evolved into a full time job; and when Phyllis Truesdell left the Farber, Irene was asked to help co-facilitate Stepping Stones.
Irene knew instantly that she was stepping into a complex situation, but her mind was open and she was definitely up for the challenge. In fact, she was actually looking forward to it. "The group sounded very interesting to me," she explains. "Right away I understood that there were some very unique things about Stepping Stones; things like its size and its longevity, for instance. And there was also the added challenge that I was not actually present at its inception." Irene also realized that the group had experienced a tremendous loss in 1997; and that her presence at the meetings, at least initially, would make the loss of Phyllis very concrete. "I knew that there would be a grieving process and a period of transition for all concerned," she says.
Fortunately, Irene’s colleagues in the Department of Social Work, and Mary McCauley of course, shared as much information as they could about the history of Stepping Stones with her. But while other people’s sense of what it was all about was helpful; she needed to develop her own sense of the support group. And that’s exactly what she proceeded to do....
"Naturally," Irene says, "it was difficult to come into such a unique situation where people had already bonded and had known each other for such a long period of time. And the group members certainly needed to figure out who I am. It’s been a process for all of us, but I think we’re all adjusting. People have been very welcoming...".
One of the things that Irene believes is most special about Stepping Stones is the level of safety that she senses during the monthly meetings. "People are able to come and really talk about what’s on their minds, to share things that might be difficult to talk about somewhere else. Members can take risks," she observes, "There is a level of trust and mutual support." Irene notices this particularly when new members come to meetings. "They are able to share things fairly quickly because there is a real understanding and acceptance of where people are at."
Irene is very aware of the major changes that the support group has been through during the past couple of years. As a result, she feels that members have become very clear-sighted about what is important to them. "Group time is very precious," she notes, "as is the group’s focus on survivorship issues....Yet there is a real sensitivity to the needs of people where there is loss...." Irene sees the newly formed Steering Committee as a place where some of these complex issues, as well as the business agenda of Stepping Stones, can be more fully addressed.
In the meantime, Irene and her family are settling in to life in New England. "I’m a Texan," she says with a laugh, "I have my drawl and my little girl has her own cow girl boots. But we love it here! .... I’m getting used to it, and I hope people are getting used to me because doing this work has a lot of meaning...".